My Two Cents: I offer my version of year-end awards

It’s hard to believe, but 2003 is almost over, and that means soon we’ll all be sick of it as we’re inundated with end-of-the-year specials, tributes, remembrances, etc. So, in the spirit of making everyone sick, I present my awards for the most spectacular boneheaded plays of 2003. Here are the winners, or should I say losers:

– Benedict Arnold Award: This goes to that cabal of left wing Democrats – including many of the presidential candidates – who are actually rooting against America. They’ve set a new low in putting their quest for power and utter hatred for President Bush ahead of what’s best for the country. You can almost see their blood boiling thanks to America’s recovering economy and success in Iraq.

– Oliver Stone Paranoia Award: This year’s prize goes to Washington state’s own Rep. “Baghdad” Jim McDermott, who implied the capture of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was staged in order to benefit President Bush politically. Of course, this is the same man who while visiting Iraq in September 2002 said President Bush would mislead America into war, but Hussein could be trusted. It boggles the mind that this guy keeps getting reelected.

– Scariest Mugshot Award: This year there was a three-way tie for the honor, between deranged actor Nick Nolte after he was arrested near Malibu, Calif. for driving under the influence; a doe-eyed and heavily made-up Michael Jackson, who was booked on charges of child molestation; and, of course, Saddam Hussein, looking like a member of ZZ Top when U.S. troops pulled him out of that “spider hole.”

– Worst PR Campaign Award: Could there be any other winner besides Michael Jackson? He really should fire whoever is advising him in terms of public relations. For example, Jackson – who’s made himself whiter than an Alabama country club – called Sony Music head Tommy Mottola a racist and “the devil.” Then there’s the ill-advised television interview with British journalist Martin Bashir where Jackson – 10 years removed from accusations of child molestation – talked about young boys sleeping in his bed with him, as if that’s appropriate behavior for a 45-year-old man. And who could forget Jackson dangling his infant son over a high-rise balcony in Germany? Now in the midst of fighting actual charges of child molestation, Jackson has reportedly entered into some sort of relationship with the Nation of Islam. What better way to restore your credibility than by joining a black separatist group headed by Louis Farrakhan? Perhaps Jackson should have consulted the Catholic Church for a defense strategy.

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author – who may hand out more awards next week – gets in his two cents worth in spite of the old saying that you only get a penny for your thoughts.