My Two Cents: Thoughts on Thanksgiving

This Thursday is Thanksgiving (of course, Thanksgiving is always on Thursday), where we Americans celebrate by eating obscene amounts of food and watching football on television.

Here a few thoughts on all things Thanksgiving:

– Is it just me, or does it seem like Thanksgiving gets short shrift in terms of attention?

I mean, one day stores are full of Halloween decorations and candy and then the next day retailers have all their Christmas stuff up.

This must be devastating to the Thanksgiving decoration industry.

– Viewing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is a holiday tradition in this country, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

They say everybody loves a parade, but they are wrong, because I can’t stand them.

– I wonder what vegetarians pig out on during their Thanksgiving meal. A simulated turkey made of tofu perhaps. Somehow, I don’t think that will catch on with a majority of poultry-loving Americans.

– Do you think Martha Stewart gets more hate mail during this time of year than the rest of the year?

I say that not because of her recent insider trading troubles, but because everything she does on her program in terms of cooking and all that other stuff she does turns out perfect, which isn’t usually the case in real life.

– Turkeys are very ugly birds, but man, do they taste good!

Still, I have to wonder why Ben Franklin – who was otherwise brilliant in so many areas of life – wanted the turkey to be our national bird. What could he have been thinking?

– Did you ever notice that if you eat cranberry sauce and then take a drink of milk, it makes your milk taste really funny?

– Keep in mind the name of the holiday is “Thanksgiving.” Take a moment to stop and think about something you are truly thankful for. It will make you feel better.

Happy Thanksgiving!

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author – who this Thursday plans on eating himself into a stupor and then watching football (but no parades) before he pens a critical letter to Martha Stewart – gets in his two cents worth in spite of the old saying that you only get a penny for your thoughts.