My Two Cents: I can't run, but if I were president…

With the campaigning for next year’s presidential election under way, that got me to thinking about what I would do if I were president. Don’t worry, I’m three years to young to run for president, as well as politically incorrect.

Nevertheless, here’s my ideal platform, certain parts of which would almost certainly have no chance of becoming official policy:

Terrorism: The country’s top priority remains the war against Islamic terrorists and those states that support them. Continue to pursue a military campaign of ruthless aggression against them. Toward that end, maintain America’s military superiority over every other nation on earth. Increase the active duty strength of the armed forces, especially the U.S. Army, which is currently stretched thin. Reconfigure troop deployments, with U.S. forces based in Eastern Europe, the Middle East and Asia. The bar for committing troops to combat will be protecting the country and its vital interests, not humanitarian concerns.

Middle East: Continue to freeze out PLO head/terrorist Yassir Arafat, as part of the peace process between Israel and the Palestinians. Put pressure on the Palestinian Authority to crack down on terrorism as the key to peace in the region.

United Nations: Less cowtowing to this virtually useless organization when it comes to national security and military operations.

France: Send this annoying country back to the Stone Age with a few well-placed tactical nuclear strikes (just kidding).

Economy: Tax cuts are good, but should be accompanied by spending cuts. Get an outside, non-partisan agency to prioritize government spending and use the bully pulpit of the presidency to shame/persuade Congress to make real cuts in pork. Greatly reduce/eliminate foreign aid, especially to dubious allies such as Saudi Arabia. Come up with a simpler tax system, so the average taxpayer doesn’t go insane trying to figure it out.

Crime: Decriminalize, regulate and tax drugs, prostitution and gambling. Make violent criminals serve their full sentences. Round up and kill all the lawyers (again, just kidding…maybe).

Affirmative Action: Get rid of it. Everybody has to meet the same standards and the most qualified gets the job or contract, period.

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author – who has never run for public office of any kind, and probably never will – gets in his two cents worth in spite of the old saying that you only get a penny for your thoughts.