Recent polls show that if the presidential election were held today it would be 14 months too early. No, seriously, recent polls show President Bush beating all Democratic challengers by fairly wide margins. The Democrats are in danger of losing ground faster than the Seattle Mariners in the American League West. I humbly offer some suggestions:

Bush-whacking: Ease up on the “I Hate Bush” burn throttle, fellas – it’s making you guys look petty. Constantly painting President Bush as the bad guy is counterproductive. (I’m still looking for Dems to blame Hurricane Isabel on Bush.) How’s about coming up with an actual vision for the country instead of reflexively taking the opposite position to Bush’s on any given issue?

National Defense: A lot of improvement needs to be made in this area. Listening to Democratic rhetoric, you’d think they fear Bush more than Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. The Dems couldn’t even muster up anything good to say about the U.S. military killing Hussein’s two wretched sons. Also, I continue to be baffled by the Dems lovefest for the United Nations, which excels at talking a good game and then doing nothing to back it up. Some presidential contenders – Howard “the Duck” Dean and Dennis “the Menace” Kucinich – have always been against the war in Iraq. Sen. “Long” John Kerry (D-Mass.), on the other hand, must think he’s in a basketball game considering his recent head fake on this issue. Kerry, who voted to give Bush the authority to use force against Iraq, has explained away that vote by saying it was meant only to threaten the use of military force and thereby cajole Iraq into complying with weapons inspectors. The bottom line is we must win the peace and rebuild Iraq, or terrorists will be further emboldened to act, a la our withdrawal from Somalia. Memo to Dems: Get on board the program, and stop playing politics with the nation’s defense.

Economy: It’s painfully obvious to see the Dems actually hope the economy does not improve prior to November 2004 – that’s just mean. Also, the Dems need to stop characterizing the president’s tax cuts as the government giving away money it can’t afford to part with. While they may have legitimate economic differences with the Bush administration, the Dems should stop framing their arguments this way. Tax cuts mean the government is simply taking a little bit less of your money! Another memo: Giving money to those who don’t pay taxes is not a tax cut – it’s welfare.

2000 Presidential Election: Al Gore lost. Bush won. Get over it. Please stop whining. It’s disingenuous for the Dems to continue decrying the courts getting involved in the election, when it was Gore who took the election to court in the first place!

“My Two Cents” is a weekly column where the author – who will make fun of the Republicans next week – gets in his two cents worth in spite of the old saying that you only get a penny for your thoughts.